2.24.2011

The Drunken Chef: Best Brownies Ever



Makes 24 2-inch brownies

Ingredients


2 sticks (1/2 pound) unsalted butter
8 ounces bittersweet chocolate, cut into 1/4-inch pieces
4 large eggs
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 cup granulated sugar
1 cup firmly packed dark brown sugar
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1 cup all-purpose flour
One 13 x 9 x 2-inch pan, lined with parchment paper and greased with butter or nonstick cooking spray

Directions

1. Set the rack in the middle of the oven and preheat to 350 degrees.

2. Line your pan with parchment paper: bring the parchment up the sides of the pan so that there is a slight  overhang and grease with butter or nonstick cooking spray.

3. Bring a saucepan of water to a boil and turn off heat. Combine butter and chocolate in a heat proof bowl and set over pan of water. Stir occasionally until melted. (Alternatively, melt butter and chocolate in a bowl in the microwave, stopping at 20 second intervals to stir and prevent scorching.)

4. Whisk eggs together in a large bowl, then whisk in the salt, sugars, and vanilla. Stir in the chocolate and butter mixture, then fold in the flour.

5. Pour batter into prepared pan and spread evenly. Bake for about 45 minutes, until top has formed a shiny crust and batter is moderately firm. Cool completely in pan on a rack. If not serving right away, wrap pan in plastic wrap and keep at room temperature or refrigerated until the next day.

6. To cut brownies, first lift them out of pan using the parchment overhang and transfer them to a cutting board. Separate parchment from edges. Using a sharp knife, trim away edges and cut brownies into 2-inch squares.

7. Enjoy. 
 
 

2.23.2011

You Can Learn Alot From Teen Jeopardy

Like the fact that Justin Bieber has a published memoir at the age of 16... for reals?? This clown has barely lived long enough to make it through kindergarten, what could he possibly be writing a memoir about!!! Apparently, the story is supposed to give details about Bieber's path to stardom, as well as exclusive photos.





 I will classify this as pathetic and compare it to the other great literary works such as: Lauren Conrad's L.A. Candy & Hillary Duff's Elixir.

People... can we please stop wasting paper and killing trees to produce this garbage!

[and in case you were wondering... none of the teen jeopardy contestants knew that the answer to "the celebrity who authored the memoir entitled, "first step 2 forever, my story" was Justin Bieber]

I don't know about you... but I think we need to develop a cure for bieberfever.

The Soultion To My Plant Drowning Problems [hopefully]

Today, I was sitting in my cubicle at work wishing out loud... "Why can't someone invent something that tells you if your plant needs more water!!!"  Little did I know, someone already has.


MMWWWAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH!!!
To buy for $6.49, click here

 

2.22.2011

Its Tuesday

Today I have successfully managed to kill my first ever houseplant. A few months ago while shopping at Marcs, I passed the plant section [and by plant section I mean a very sad looking display of half dead plants]. I had this ingenious idea... 

I will buy one and nurse it back to health! I can practice on this plant until spring, when I try to grow actual vegetables that people will consume!

$3.49 later, I was the proud owner of a "table fern". When I got home, I decided the first thing that my fern needed was a bigger place to live... so I put that sucker in a larger and prettier pot I picked up at old time pottery. I watered it with some miracle gro and went about my business. For a month and a half or so, it looked fine.

And heres my problem: I know that your supposed to water plants like once a week or something... but I couldn't help myself. I think I watered that thing every time the top-soil began to dry out. It started turning yellow-- which I though obviously meant that it was thirsty. So I watered some more... and before I knew it, I had officially killed my "table fern".

For Valentines day, my husband bought me more plants to practice on. Hes so sweet... he realizes that I completely suck at keeping plants alive and supports me anyway :)

Naturally, I wanted to put one of my new plants into the pot that the fern had been in. When I began to remove my dead fern from its old home I realized why I had killed it... IT DROWNED. I kid you not... there may have been about 2 inches of water in that damn pot (It didn't have a drainage hole at the bottom).

sigh

2.08.2011

Are you raising a Diva?

It will be completely obvious that you've got a Diva on your hands...

For example:

My Diva refuses to sleep in her extremely expensive dog bed... she prefers to lounge around on our king sized bed. [you know... to make sure theres enough room to stretch out]

My Diva refuses to share any of her toys... [this greatly displeases one of our other dogs, Bear] 

My Diva will only attempt to destroy expensive shoes... like my uggs. [because anything less than $80 is for peasants]


Duchess Von Tesh Shook
[and yes, thats her full name... you should see the names of her bloodline!]

2.07.2011

Top 4 from SB45

Here are my top 4 favorite super bowl commercials... in no particular order:

1. VW "Darth Vader": Cutest freaking kid ever... probably because of the over sized Vader mask and cape.


2. Bridgestone "Reply To All": Because I love the buy running around like a maniac.


3. Doritos "Pug Attack" Because this little dog is a badass!!


4. Budweiser "Western Tiny Dancer": Beer & an Elton John classic, what more can you ask for?


Was anyone else disappointed with the musical stylings of this years super bowl? I thought that with the exception of Lea Michelle & Slash... everyone was pretty awful! Xtina showed her true patriotism with a beautiful rendition of the Star MANGLED Banner, Fergie ruined one of the best songs of all time... and did anyone else notice the other 2 guys in the Black Eyed Peas... you know, the ones who get paid millions to run around and clap?

Hope everyone had a great weekend!!!

2.06.2011

I put it down representin for my team

IM IN GREEN & YELLOW
GREEN & YELLOW
GREEN & YELLOW
GREEN & YELLOW

At least for today. Clevelanders can't support Pittsburgh.  Plus, I like this song alot:


and, I think Clay Matthews is lumberjack sexy....


And.... I fucking LOVE this dog


Happy Superbowl!!